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Kratki vicevi (za poneti)...nekoliko komada

  Evo nešto kratkih viceva za poneti koje sam dobio od moje drugarice Natalije iz Osijeka. Ako želite direktno da se pretplatite (za DŽ), pa da viceve dobijate na vaš mejl umesto da visite po blogovima, potražite je na karikama pod NatalijaOS.

Kaže zeka zmiji: Izvini što sam te zajebavao što nemaš noge...     

        Ma nema veze, bilo pa prošlo.                                      

        Dobro, evo ruka!                                                    

                                                                           

                                                                           

                                                                           

                                                                            

                                                                           

                                                                           

        Pita učiteljica decu šta je to herojstvo?                          

                                                                           

                                                                           

        Javi se Perica i kaže:                                             

        Herojstvo je kad nekom spasiš život.                               

        Bravo Perice! - kaže učiteljica A jesi li ti nekad nekom spasio    

       život?                                                               

        Jesam, svom nećaku!                                                

        A kako Perice? - znatiželjna je učiteljica.                        

        Pa lepo, sakrio sam sestrine antibebi pilule.                       

                                                                           

                                                                           

                                                                           

                                                                            

                                                                           

                                                                           

        Kakva je razlika između razbojnika i žene?                         

        Razbojnik želi pare ili život, a žena i jedno i drugo.             

                                                                           

                                                                            

                                                                           

                                                                           

                                                                           

                                                                            

        Pita Mujo Hasu:                                                    

        Sto bi vise volio da budes - intelektualac ili homoseksualac?      

        - Ovo drugo.                                                        

        - Zasto?                                                           

        - Lakse mi ulazi u guzicu nego u glavu                             

                                                                           

                                                                           

                                                                           

                                                                            

        Dođe Mujo u trafiku i pita prodavačicu:                            

        - Do you speak English?                                            

        Prodavačica : - Ne                                                  

        Mujo, razočaran, okrene se i ode ...                               

        Dođe on u drugu trafiku i opet pita:                               

        - Do you speak English?                                             

        opet ista stvar - Ne...                                            

        I tako, ode u treću trafiku i opet pita:                           

        - Do you speak English?                                            

        Prodavačica: - Yes                                                 

        Mujo: - Marlboro !                                                 

                                                                           

        Kaze Englez: Moja je zena u krevetu ko lavica...                   

        Kaze Francuz: Moja je zena njezna ko leptir...                     

        Kaze Mujo: Ni moja ne lici na covjeka...                           

                                                                            

                                                                           

                                                                           

        Zasto svi uragani imaju zenska imena?                              

        - Kad dodju vlazni su i topli, a kad odu odnose kuce, automobile...

                                                                           

                                                                           

                                                                            

        - Zasto u raju ima samo 10% zena?                                  

        - Da ih ima vise, bio bi to pakao...                               

                                                                           

                                                                           

                                                                           

                                                                            

                                                                           

                                                                           

        Koja je razlika izmedju zene i ljubavnice?                         

        - 30 kg!                                                           

                                                                           

                                                                            

                                                                           

        - Koja je razlika izmedu zene i terorista?                         

        - S teroristima su moguci pregovori!                               

                                                                            

                                                                           

                                                                           

        -Zasto zene duze zive od muskaraca?                                 

        - Valjda zato jer nemaju zenu.                                     

                                                                           

                                                                            

                                                                           

        - Koja je razlika izmedju vile i vestice?                          

        - 5 godina braka...                                                

                                                                            

                                                                           

                                                                           

        - Zasto su zene trodimenzionalne?                                   

        - Jer govore jedno, misle drugo, a rade trece                      

                                                            

 


 
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extra
#1, 03.02.2009 - 01:32
04.02.2009 - 01:13